A SOLDIER
I wrote this two years ago when I was yet a confused soul.
It's nothing special now but before I was really proud of this piece.
They turned their backs, walked pass through me, never dropped a glance. As they walked farther, their strides went on faster. The battle was over. The ground was covered with blood. Bodies were unrecognizable. This battle, it was not supposed to be; yet it happened. Now that it’s over and they, who started it all just wished to forget it.
"I remembered that I was a soldier.... But I am no hero."
I remembered that I was a soldier. I fought in the name of the kingdom I protected but oh I don’t know what the battle was all about. But I am no hero. If not for the title that I was soldier, then I would have scurried away. It’s just because I was a soldier that I fought and I had no choice. I had to be a soldier. I brought no feelings in the battle field. There’s no fear. There’s no threat imposed even though it’s a given fact that I could either be dead or wounded. It’s just the will to end it all that empowered my sword and so I slew my way through foe or friend which I could not tell anymore. I fought wild but I was never angry - just exhausted.
I heaved myself up with my unwounded arm. Vultures were circling above the corpse. Seconds passed and many others started to stir. Without the sword in our hands, I figured that we were just but strangers to each other. Not a foe neither a friend. Sorrow was there but there’s no hatred. We were just pawns of the great people above and their gold which fed us and we were not supposed to play a part as to feel anything about what’s going on. Many had acquired that skill very well - to appear adamant and stoic. Despite the training, I guess I was not as stoic as the others are. I felt sadness over the dead bodies before me. Oh, for all I know this battle could just be because of the royalties petty fights, gold conflicts and other nonsense. We deserved more than to be pawns to each others' swords because of royalty’s petty fights. I vowed loyalty to them but that vow should not break the one I had to myself. I cannot deny myself! Never! But I just did.
" Without the sword in our hands, I figured that we were just but strangers to each other. Not a foe neither a friend."
It’s partly my fault why I am here in this battle field. I didn’t try to find things out and stand out from the crowd. I just blend with the majority of the soldiers and try not to be noticed. I thought that it would bring me great trouble if I took initiative. If things went wrong then I couldn’t handle the blame. Oh how coward I was. Oh, but we all were.
" Sometimes we walk blind afraid to actually see the path we are threading; afraid that our own intellect might interfere and look for the right path alone."
You have to admit too that you were once a soldier and once tend to blend with the majority. Sometimes we walk blind afraid to actually see the path we are threading; afraid that our own intellect might interfere and look for the right path alone. How ironic. Most of us tend to fail with the majority than try to do what’s right for it’s a lonely path. But I found out, that even with the thousands of soldiers around me, the battle I’d just fought without understanding its purpose, is the loneliest battle in my life. I found nothing worthwhile and I fought with no one in particular. Don’t let life be like those lonely battles. xxxxx
It's nothing special now but before I was really proud of this piece.
They turned their backs, walked pass through me, never dropped a glance. As they walked farther, their strides went on faster. The battle was over. The ground was covered with blood. Bodies were unrecognizable. This battle, it was not supposed to be; yet it happened. Now that it’s over and they, who started it all just wished to forget it.
"I remembered that I was a soldier.... But I am no hero."
I remembered that I was a soldier. I fought in the name of the kingdom I protected but oh I don’t know what the battle was all about. But I am no hero. If not for the title that I was soldier, then I would have scurried away. It’s just because I was a soldier that I fought and I had no choice. I had to be a soldier. I brought no feelings in the battle field. There’s no fear. There’s no threat imposed even though it’s a given fact that I could either be dead or wounded. It’s just the will to end it all that empowered my sword and so I slew my way through foe or friend which I could not tell anymore. I fought wild but I was never angry - just exhausted.
I heaved myself up with my unwounded arm. Vultures were circling above the corpse. Seconds passed and many others started to stir. Without the sword in our hands, I figured that we were just but strangers to each other. Not a foe neither a friend. Sorrow was there but there’s no hatred. We were just pawns of the great people above and their gold which fed us and we were not supposed to play a part as to feel anything about what’s going on. Many had acquired that skill very well - to appear adamant and stoic. Despite the training, I guess I was not as stoic as the others are. I felt sadness over the dead bodies before me. Oh, for all I know this battle could just be because of the royalties petty fights, gold conflicts and other nonsense. We deserved more than to be pawns to each others' swords because of royalty’s petty fights. I vowed loyalty to them but that vow should not break the one I had to myself. I cannot deny myself! Never! But I just did.
" Without the sword in our hands, I figured that we were just but strangers to each other. Not a foe neither a friend."
It’s partly my fault why I am here in this battle field. I didn’t try to find things out and stand out from the crowd. I just blend with the majority of the soldiers and try not to be noticed. I thought that it would bring me great trouble if I took initiative. If things went wrong then I couldn’t handle the blame. Oh how coward I was. Oh, but we all were.
" Sometimes we walk blind afraid to actually see the path we are threading; afraid that our own intellect might interfere and look for the right path alone."
You have to admit too that you were once a soldier and once tend to blend with the majority. Sometimes we walk blind afraid to actually see the path we are threading; afraid that our own intellect might interfere and look for the right path alone. How ironic. Most of us tend to fail with the majority than try to do what’s right for it’s a lonely path. But I found out, that even with the thousands of soldiers around me, the battle I’d just fought without understanding its purpose, is the loneliest battle in my life. I found nothing worthwhile and I fought with no one in particular. Don’t let life be like those lonely battles. xxxxx